five months

Our baby girl is five months old today!  She is so much fun and I feel like her personality has really started blossoming lately.  She smiles at everything now (I know I've said that before but now...for real.)  We took our family pictures on November 16 and she was a little under the weather so it was hard to make her smile.  The next day though, I swear she started smiling at everything.  It's not just "costco" and "jamjams" anymore.  She babbles all the time to herself in the car and is starting to really be able to shriek loudly.

She won't have an official weigh in this month but we think she's between 16-17 pounds.  She has been fighting a cold almost the entire month.  It started as some sneezing...developed into a cough...and now it seems to slowly be getting a little better.  Her hair JUST started getting a little fuzzier and longer the past couple of days. Her eyes are now a dark gray color and this past month her eyelashes have gotten a good bit longer.  We have some days with tons of drool and some days with not much drool.  She's definitely in the process of teething but doesn't have any pushing through just yet.

Sleep this month has been pretty consistent until this past weekend.  There weren't many nights that she didn't wake up at least once...but since Saturday, she has actually been sleeping through the night again.   I think the stuffy nose/cough/skills development has had a lot to do with her not sleeping well.  I introduced her to a lovey around Thanksgiving and I often find it tucked under her arm in the morning when I wake her up.  a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e.  We're totally done with the swaddle now that she's sleeping on her stomach so she's been sleeping with a blanket this month.

No issues in the eating department.  Allie is still eating often and well.  Pumping at work is difficult and I have to pull from my freezer stash daily.  I often worry about how much longer we'll be able to keep it up.  We haven't started solids yet but we will soon.  We're also really wanting to move on to something different than Dr. Brown's bottles.  We're sick of washing so many bottle parts every night.  I don't know whether we should just stick it out a little longer and then introduce a sippy cup or just buy all new bottles that she may or may not like.

Clothing-wise, Allison is wearing 6 month pjs, 6-12 month pants, and a mix of 3-6, and 6-12 month onesies.  She seems to be growing a lot taller lately.  A lot of dresses that we have for her that are 3-6 are way too short.  We moved her up to size 3 diapers in the middle of the month.

We started laying out a giant picnic blanket in the living room this month for Allie to play around on.  It's pretty much the best thing ever.  She spits up quite often so once the blanket gets a little dirty, we toss it in the wash.  Much easier than cleaning carpet and she has a lot more space to roam.  She started crawling on November 19 at 18 weeks old.  Now she can push herself into a plank position and is getting quicker at moving around.  It's only a matter of time before she gets her knees under her and really starts moving.  She finally rolled to the right on December 1.  She reaches for anything and everything.  "Out of reach" is a thing of the past...if she wants it, she's gonna get it.

Everything is still going well with daycare.  The other baby she's with can sit up and touch her toes so it's really interesting to see how they're developing differently.  I'm convinced that Allie can't do either because of her chunkiness.  She can't reach her toes over her belly and she can't sit up because she's so heavy up top.  But she is strong and gets where she wants to go for sure.  She can sit up if I position her to where she's bent over.  It doesn't look comfortable though so I don't leave her like that long.  Maybe that will be what she masters in month six.  She's still loving standing and she can actually stand unassisted if she's holding on to something.

As for me, I'm still losing fist-fulls of hair.  Working has been going well and I'm enjoying having somewhere to be every day.  I still feel a tug every now and then to be at home but ultimately, I think this is the right choice for now.

Pumping at Work: Supplies, Schedule, Struggles

I'm no expert, but I have learned a few things over the last couple of weeks while breastfeeding and being away from Allison.  Pumping at work is almost just as difficult as learning how to breastfeed was.  There is the constant question of 'will I produce enough to satisfy my very hungry daughter's appetite?'.  Allison is almost 5 months old and has been eating 3-4 ounce bottles at daycare each day.  Our daycare has just recently requested 4 bottles of milk per day to make sure that Allie has enough to eat.  Cue Chelsea freak out...I certainly don't have time to pump 4 times each day but I really don't think Allison is ready for solids yet.  I'm hoping once we introduce solids between 5-6 months, her milk intake will settle back down.

So, our set up looks something like this:

1. Medela Advanced Personal Breastpump with On the Go Tote--I have no complaints about this pump.  The bag is kind of large but with everything in there that I need, there's not much left over space.
2. Dr. Brown's 8 oz Bottles--We have 8 Dr. Brown's bottles that we send to daycare with Allison.  Yes, there are a lot of parts but Allison eats from them with no problems.  We had such a hard time getting her to eat from a bottle in the first place...maybe later down the road we'll try to transition her to a bottle with less pieces, but these work great for now.
3. Parmolive Baby Dish Wash--I like this soap MUCH better than the Medela brand bottle soap.  There is no residue left in the bottles when we wash them and the price is a million times better.  I got 3 very large bottles for the price of 1 small Medela bottle.
4. Insulated lunch bag--I use a very plain insulated lunch bag from Target to carry her bottles to daycare.  If I know I'll be out longer with her bottles, I'll stick a freezer pack in it.
5. Bottle Brush--We keep a bottle brush stuck on our kitchen sink pretty much all the time.  I like the ones that are able to stand up--either with a suction cup or holder like the one in the picture.  If we have guests over, we stand it up in our baby cabinet.

I filled our freezer with milk while I was on maternity leave.  At first, I was really confused about when to pump and there were a few times that I burned myself because I pumped both sides and then had an awake, hungry baby earlier than expected.  Then, out of the blue, Allison began to sleep through the night.  For a few weeks, I was able to pump every morning and get at least 6 ounces and still have plenty left over to feed Allison when she woke up.  That's all well and good but now I have bags upon bags of 6 ounces in the freezer and I often only need 2 or 3 ounces to supplement what I was able to pump at work.  I'm kicking myself for not splitting it up now.

I pump 3 times every day at work--9:30 am, 12:30 pm, and 3:30 pm for 10-30 minutes.  I can get anywhere between 2-6 ounces each time.  I'm currently only pumping one side at a time--that may change when she gets a little older.  I'm lucky enough to have a private office that I am able to pump in at work.  Before I get started, I make sure I have water and don't have to pee.  I bring an extra sandwich bag for my pump parts so I can keep them refrigerated in between pumping sessions.

Every night, Carson washes all of Allison's bottles and my pump parts.  We use a giant pot but if we had a sink stopper, we would use that instead.  We also have a very simple bottle rack that I picked up at Target for $6.  If for whatever reason bottles don't get washed at night, I have a few Medela sterilizer bags and I just toss everything in the microwave before I leave for work.

There have been a few times that I became pretty concerned with my supply and I did some research and decided that I HAD to have lactation cookies to boost my production.  The only ingredient that I was missing in my cabinets was brewer's yeast.  When Carson couldn't find brewer's yeast in the store, I turned to plan B--drinking beer.  Maybe it was the placebo effect or maybe it actually worked, but I do notice a slight different in my supply when I have a beer a few nights in a row.

If you asked me for my advise, I would say:

-Take advantage of your baby sleeping longer increments to build up your freezer stash
-Freeze your milk in 2 ounce increments always
-Don't waste money on the hands-free pumping bra
-Set a reminder on your phone or computer to pump
-Sit up straight
-Ask for help

I was never able to find much online about pumping at work so hopefully this helps at least a few people!

four months

Our little baby is four months old!  I can't believe how much she has changed and grown.  Throughout the month, Allison has gotten stronger, more vocal, and has been all over the place with her sleeping patterns.  She laughs and rolls and sleeps on her stomach now (as of a few days ago).  She also took a break this month from growing hair to grow some eyebrows.

Allie weighs 15 pounds, 13 ounces now (84th percentile) and is 25 inches long (79th percentile).  Her head is 15.5 inches around (20th percentile). She had her second round of shots on the 4th and she handled them so much better this time.  No change in hair color and eye color this month--still light brown hair and dark blue eyes but it does sometimes look like the center has started to turn brown.  She is still drooling all over the place (some days are worse than others) and she's putting more and more things in her mouth.  No signs of teeth yet though.  She has had more cradle cap issues but again, coconut oil clears it up pretty easily.

When Allie hit 15 weeks, we had a few nights with two night feedings (which was killer) but it didn't last long at all and we're back to just one night feeding.  She typically sleeps between 7:30-3:30, she's back to sleep by 4, then I wake her up at 6:30 to feed her again before leaving for work.  I really don't mind waking up with her in the middle of the night and I actually think I'll be kind of sad when it's over.  She is always so happy to see me and when I lay her down, she's still cooing and smiling.  Sometimes after I lay her down and start to walk out of her room, she'll say something else and I can't help it, I have to run back to her and talk to her some more.

Yesterday, Allie woke up early from a nap so I thought I would let her cry it out a little to see if she would go back to sleep.  After about 10 minutes, she was still wailing so I went in to check on her and she had gotten her arm stuck through the crib slats.  (Obviously I deserve the Mom of the Year award for that one.)  I ran out to Target and bought one of those breathable mesh crib bumpers.  She scoots and rolls SO much that I knew that wouldn't be the last time that happened if I didn't do anything about it.

I returned to work on October 21 and Allison has been doing great in daycare.  It took about two weeks, but I think things are starting to become more routine.  I feel really at ease with the person watching Allie during the day, Christina.  She actually reminds me A LOT of one of my college roommates.  At first, Christina mistook Allie's tired cues for feeding cues so she was eating 16 ounces each day.  Every day I worried about that because I only get between 10-15 ounces a day at work so I was constantly having to dip into the freezer stash.  The past couple of days though, Allie has eaten 12 ounces during the day so I feel better about the feeding situation.  Pumping at work though is a whole other story.  It's really difficult to take a break 3 times a day to pump.

Allie is still wearing a mix of 3, 3-6, and 6 month clothing.  Some of the 6 month clothing is too big but we went ahead and washed everything so we could use the clothes to layer.  Now that we have to actually get dressed for daycare/work every day, we're doing a lot more laundry.  No more staying in our jammies all day.  She's still wearing size 2 diapers.

This month, Allie is really starting to love playing with all of her toys.  After I feed her in the morning, I put her in her Rock N Play with her toys hanging over her and she is perfectly content swatting at them...especially her monkey.  When we lay her on her playmat, she loves throwing her arms all around and hits all the hanging toys.  We keep her Oball in the car to keep her occupied and she knows how to shake it to make it rattle.  During tummy time, she can come up off her elbows and supports herself with just her hands.  She rolled from her back to her stomach the night of November 7th and it seems like that has completely changed the way she slept.  Before that though, some nights I would lay her down facing one way and when I got her in the morning, she had completely turned around.  But she was always perfectly the other direction...never at an angle.  She's quite the scooter and it really blows my mind how mobile she is.  She REALLY wants to crawl but can't quite figure out how to make it work yet.

Carson and I have discovered the hard way that it's pretty easy to spook Allie.  I had done it once or twice when she was younger but it seems the older she gets, the easier it happens.  If we sneak into our room and she catches us, she'll look at us and just wail.  It's so sad/funny.

Allie is laughing more and more every day.  Sometimes when we find a word that makes her laugh, we just repeat it over and over until she's no longer amused.  2 that we know work?  Costco and Jamjams.  She loves it.  She continues to amaze us and others with how totally relaxed and calm she is.  We're able to take her with us and she takes it all in stride.  Last weekend, we actually took her to a bull riding competition and she just sat on my lap and looked at everything and just soaked it all in.  She even took a little catnap on my lap.  She didn't cry once.  And then she slept through the night that night.  Perfect baby?  I mean, I don't want to brag.

My hair loss is definitely much worse than it was last month.  It almost looks like I cut bangs in the front.  Other than that, there's still the constant struggle of juggling being a wife, a mom, and now I have to add work to the mix again.  It's been difficult not being able to stay late at work anymore and it makes me really stressed sometimes.  Working out is totally on the backburner these days.  I just can't seem to find the motivation to do it.   Especially now with the time change...the sun is setting as I leave work.  I have lofty dreams of waking up really early to work out before work but I'm already supposed to wake up at 5:15 and find myself waking up at 5:30 most days.

All in all, the transition back to working hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be.  I struggle constantly with the guilty feeling that I'm picking something totally meaningless over raising my child just for money.  However, with my extra income, we will be able to fully fund Allie's college education and will be able to take trips and give her experiences that otherwise we wouldn't be able to afford.  And then that leads me to conflicting feelings that it absolutely wouldn't hurt her if she had to pay for some of her college (I turned out okay) or have a job when she's 16.  I suppose we could still have her do those things to a certain extend.  The point is, I'm working on being comfortable with my decision.

three months

Month Three!

I feel like this month we truly moved from having a 'newborn' to having a baby.  There were so many things that happened!  From Allie's first flight to the first time she rolled over--she's such a joy to be around and we feel so blessed to have such a happy baby.  I absolutely love seeing her smile.  I hope she always smiles the way she does now, with her eyes all squinty and her tongue sticking out.  She may only be 3 months old, but she's such a great companion.  When we go on walks, she has started to put her foot up against the stroller edge and just totally epitomizes "chillin".  Being pregnant opened up a lot of conversation with strangers but having a baby opens it up even more.  I love it.

We think Allie weighs around 15 pounds now.  She won't have another official weigh-in until her 4 month Well Check.  Her eyes are a dark grey and in certain lights they look very brown, so we're thinking they'll change in the next couple of months.  Her hair initially looked reddish as it was coming in but as it's getting longer, it is looking more brown.  She has had some minor cradle cap issues but the other day I rubbed some coconut oil on her little head and it brushed right out!  Good ol' coconut oil.  She has started to drool a LOT in the last week or so and likes to suck on our hands and fabric (she especially loves when she can grab a hold of her bedroom curtains while I'm changing her).  Maybe she's getting ready to start teething?  Not sure but these are certainly new developments in the health department.

Allie is still a great sleeper.  She has been sleeping through the night since she was 9 weeks old.  On September 12, she started eating every 2 hours on the dot and since September 15, she's been sleeping 9 hours or more each night.  We had a few issues when we traveled to New Orleans but overall, we think she handled sleeping in a different place in a different timezone very well.  She did get a little messed up at the end and now (about a week after returning home) she is still not consistently sleeping through the night.  

Here's what her typical schedule looks like:

7:00 eat
7:50 sleep
9:00 eat
9:50 sleep
11:00 eat
11:50 sleep
1:00 eat
1:50 sleep
3:00 eat
3:50 sleep
5:00 eat
5:50 sleep
7:00 bath time, bedtime routine
8:00 eat
8:30 sleep

Allie is still EBF.  Like I mentioned above, she moved from eating every 3 hours to every 2 hours on her own.  I'm trying really hard to stretch her back out to 3 because I think she needs to take longer naps.  When she wakes up, she is typically still rubbing her eyes and yawning.  If we let her soothe herself back to sleep, she will typically make it to the 3 hour mark.  We're still trying to work everything out though.

When people ask me how old Allie is, I love seeing the surprise on their faces when I tell them.  It's typically followed up with "Are you nursing?" and then "Ahh, that's why."  She's a chunky little monkey but I love all her rolls.  She's wearing a mix of 3 month and 3-6 sized clothes.  (I say that but today she wore a 6 month hoodie and leggings.)  I think we'll be moving her up soon because of the length.  She must finally be getting longer because her onesies are really stretching around the neck.  She is still wearing size 2 diapers.

This month, due to all the traveling and excessive drooling, we've been loving the aden + anais swaddle blankets.  I use them as a nursing cover, burp cloths, blanket (for myself), and we swaddle her with her arms out in them every night.  We also use (and LOVE) the Circo Receiving Blankets from Target as burp cloths.  She's been spitting up more the past couple of weeks so we try to have one of these within reach wherever we go.

Allie met Carson's grandfather while we were in New Orleans and she also spent a few days with my mom.  She smiles all the time now and we get what we think is a laugh out of her every now and then.  We're so thankful that we've had the opportunity to spend so much time with both of our families over the past 3 months.  

We really only get cries when Allie is tired.  The hardest part of the flight home from New Orleans was just the fact that she couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep.  Eventually she fell asleep sitting on my lap while I rubbed her belly.  Thankfully, everyone around us was very understanding.

Allie is very interested in toys now and likes to lick things or have things in her mouth.  If she wants something in her mouth, she will very slowly lean towards it with her mouth open and grunt.  She LOVES to be facing forward in the Baby Bjorn because she sucks the crap out of the fabric.  So much so that her drool soaks through to the other side of the carrier.  She's also loving staring at lights and ceiling fans.

On the other hand, she hates being dried off after her bath and we're still struggling with bottle feeding.  

As for me, I feel great!  I have started to lose some hair but it's no more than I lost my last semester of college when I was constantly stressing about finding a job.  I seem to have more acne these days and I'm not sure if that's still extra hormones or if it's because of my diet.

This month has really been full of so many developments and changes.  Allie can scoot around in her crib now.  At one point in New Orleans, I noticed she was making really muffled grunting sounds and when I went to check on her, she had wedged herself into the corner of the pack n' play completely perpendicular to the way I had laid her.  She also rolled from her stomach to her back twice now.  She has officially discovered her voice.  She makes a lot more noises now and knows how to change the pitch of her babbles.  She seems to be crying a good deal louder these days.  Speaking of crying, she officially makes tears and it breaks my heart.  The second she starts crying, the tears start streaming.

I'll leave you with the pictures below. Carson around 4 months old, Allison today, and me a couple of months old.  I would guess how old I was based off of the cold weather clothing but I'm sure we lived in Maryland or Wisconsin so it was probably one constant winter season.  You can see Allie is pretty much 100% Noble though.

New Orleans//Traveling with an Infant

Carson and I just recently returned home after nearly a week in New Orleans.  I was pretty nervous about both Allie's first flight and walking around the Big Easy by myself.  Carson was attending an oil and gas conference most of the week, so my main goal for the trip was to entertain myself while making sure that Allie slept well at night (so Carson could function properly the following day).

The flight from Los Angeles to New Orleans actually went fairly well.  We were able to check our stroller and carseat (for free!) before having to go to through security.  I wore Allie in the BabyBjorn, and we simply walked right through the metal detector (they just checked my hands for explosives).  We brought our car seat, but ended up only using it twice on the trip--to and from the airport--we made do just fine without the base.  I tried to time it right to feed Allie during take off and landing but it didn't really work out that way. We just had to wing it and feed her as she became fussy. Her ears did not seem to bother her at all during flight. After 20 min. or so, she was able to find a comfy spot and slept for a good portion of the flight (so did I).

We stayed in the Warehouse District in the Hilton Garden Inn which was actually a really perfect location.  It was basically across the street from the convention center (perfect for Carson) and about a mile to the French Quarter and 2 miles to all the shops on Magazine Street.  Allie did okay sleeping in the hotel-provided pack n play.  We tried to not let her cry too much but I think the hotel strategically placed us so we wouldn't be a nuisance to other guests.  I took full advantage that there was nothing that needed to be cleaned, vacuumed, folded or scrubbed on our hotel room, so while she slept, I read.

On our first full day Carson and I simply walked around the French Quarter.  We had recently visited New Orleans in 2011 so everything was pretty familiar and there wasn't anything that we felt we HAD to see.  It was nice to just stroll around and enjoy the ambiance.

On Monday, I walked the two miles to Magazine Street.  I had read that there was good shopping over there and decided to be adventurous.  The sidewalks were, at times, pretty terrible but our stroller did great  (To think, I almost didn't bring it!).  I loved seeing all of the historic homes and it felt nice to be out of hubbub of the French Quarter.  Everyone was SO nice.  As I was walking, everyone said hello and many people commented on how cute Allie looked.  People just aren't like that in California.  Monday night, Carson's Grandfather got to meet Allie and offered to watch her for us while we went to an A&M event.  We went, realized we didn't know anyone, and left after swiping some appetizers and beer.

Tuesday, I got to meet up with my mom who drove in from Texas to spend some time with Allie.  We ate beignets at Cafe du Monde and then roamed.  It was nice to just walk around and catch up.  Carson got to have some fun on Bourbon street later that night.

Wednesday, I had breakfast with my mom and I got to see rain!  It was so wonderful being in the rain, Carson and I hadn't seen rain since last March.  The rain drops were huge and the smell made me think of home.  Later that afternoon Allie and I went back out and remembered how rain can leave behind a disgusting amount of humidity.   We just hung out in a coffee shop and then sat in the quarter and listening to a jazz band play.

We didn't leave until after 7 pm on Thursday.  We grabbed lunch at Warehouse Grille (my favorite place we ate!  Get the Morning After Burger!)  then decided that we needed something to do indoors so we wouldn't be gross on the flight home.  We ended up visiting the National WWII Museum.  We both really enjoyed it and highly recommend it if you're in New Orleans!  It was kind of expensive ($22 each!) but it's HUGE and we easily killed over 4 hours.

Our return flight didn't go quite as well.  First of all, the New Orleans airport didn't let us check the stroller until we got to the gate so we had to deal with that headache through security.  Surprisingly, at security, they did let me get through with my huge tube of ointment.  "Oh, this is for the baby?  Okay, it's not a problem."  I fed Allie once we were on the place.  This time, instead of passing out like she did on the first flight, she just couldn't get comfortable.  She would just cry and cry; I couldn't get her in a good position to fall asleep.  Carson and I both walked her up and down the aisles, but as soon as we sat down she wailed.  Eventually, I sat her up in my lap sideways and rubbed her belly and she literally fell asleep sitting up.  After that, I was able to move her to my shoulder and she slept the rest of the way.  Again, everyone around us was incredibly understanding.  Allie was one of four babies on that flight.

This trip made me incredibly homesick.  I miss rain.  I miss nice people.  I miss ferns.  I miss Texas.  I miss our family.  I miss 290.  I miss my friends.  However, we have decided that we won't be flying home for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year.  The flights weren't terrible, but it's not something we want to do again any time soon.  The trip has also really messed up Allie's sleep schedule and after a week of being home, she's still not back on track.  It's just not worth it to us to get her so out of whack.

Things I'd do differently:

On these two flights, I sat in the window seat for ease of nursing.  However, it made getting up to change the baby/going to the restroom/walking the baby a challenge.  I think next time we'll sit in the aisle.

I forgot how terrible humidity is.  I'm used to vacationing in California and being able to wear jeans/jean shorts multiple times.  Not the case when it's humid outside.  I ended up having to do laundry halfway through the trip.

Allison has reached a new level of spit up.  Not to mention, after using the burp cloth during the day, the humidity got to it and made it just feel wet everywhere.  I should have brought enough to have one for each day.

I knew I would be walking around the majority of time and didn't want another "nine toes" incident so I only brought chuck taylors and a very casual pair of flip flops.  I should have known to bring one nice outfit, but I didn't.  It ended up that I should have because we went to an A&M reception for the conference one night.

Next time, I'll research places to eat.  I know New Orleans is supposed to be a great spot for food and maybe I'm just cheap, but I don't like spending over $15 for a meal.  I wish we would have eaten at more places outside of the French Quarter.

Don't forget you need cash at Cafe Du Monde!

Thoughts on Motherhood

via

I've never been a worrier.  I feel like I've been pretty laid back and kind of just let things happen--at least the for last couple of years.  Motherhood has been a whole different ballgame.  I feel a constant mix of love/happiness/worry/excitement/sadness/pride.  Does she need socks?  Is she too hot?  Look at that smile!  I only have how many days left with her?  Will she ever take a bottle?  She's so strong!  She's SO cute!  SQUISHY THIGHS!  You just ate!  Cold hands!  Please let go of my hair/glasses/book.  She amazes me every day and I absolutely love being her mother.

I was so concerned in the beginning about getting breastfeeding down.  That was my goal and I wasn't going to let anything stand  in my way.  Because of that, Allie did not take a bottle until after she was 4 weeks old.  We've attempted to give her one bottle a week since she was about 2 months old but I'm really worried it's been too little to late.  Now, I have 2 weeks before I have to return to work and I'm doing everything I can to try to get her to take a bottle.  Once breastfeeding was going good, I should have started giving Allie more bottles.  It's hard though considering how easy breastfeeding is now.  I hate having to pump, make a bottle, warm the bottle, clean the bottle, etc, etc, etc.  I love breastfeeding but now I'm kicking myself.

Speaking of breastfeeding, I heard so much how it makes the pounds just fall off of you.  Totally not the case with me but I'm okay with that.  I still have 15 pounds to lose but I'm fine with keeping those if it means that I'll be successful breastfeeding (there's that thing again).  I'd hate to try really hard to lose those pounds and then have my supply tank.  So for now, I'll continue going on walks and running every now and then but I'm not going to push it.  Besides, there's a certain baby I'd rather be spending my time with and she can't go running with me yet.

I can tell you the exact moment that I felt a connection with Allie and it wasn't when she was born.  That was something that was really important to me and had a big role in my decision to breastfeed and have a natural delivery.  I was under the impression that without the impairment of drugs or an epidural, that I would instantly be bonded to my baby.  Not the case.  It happened at her 8 week Well Check.  I was surprised that it took that long, to be honest.  During weeks 1-7, I felt very protective but not bonded.  When she locked eyes with me across the room in the doctor's office that day, I melted.  I love that chunky little baby so much and I'm so excited to be her mom for the rest of my life and watch her grow.

I struggle with my priorities.  One night, Carson asked me if I felt like a mom first and a wife second.  The answer was yes, absolutely yes.  The night before, I had just been talking to my bible study group about how I'm struggling to realign my priorities.  I'm so totally wrapped up in everything Allie that I've been totally fine pushing my marriage and my relationship with God to the side.  I think it will be something I struggle with everyday.  I can totally see how parents get so wrapped up in their children's lives that they forget who they are and who their spouse is.  If I'm not with her, I'm thinking about her.  If I'm not holding her, I'm thinking about her.  If I AM with her, I'm thinking about her.  When she's sleeping, I'm thinking about her.  At this point, I absolutely can not fathom having another child.

I thought that I would want Allie wearing a headband constantly but it truly hurts my heart when I take it off and it has left a mark on her little head.  She even has a tiny head!  She was only in the 17th percentile at her 2 month doctor visit for head size.  She may look like a little boy at times, but I can't handle the feeling that I'm squishing her head just for the sake of cuteness.  Beauty should not be pain until you can choose to do it to yourself.

My views on abortion and child abuse are different and very passionate now.  After carrying my child for 40+ weeks and experiencing life with her in the flesh for the past 13 weeks, the thought of people murdering their children or having a child and possibly not wanting it or not doing the responsible thing if they know they can't care for it--it makes me want to throw up.  Bakersfield has something called the Garden of Innocence and recently buried three babies that were unwanted and died.  I can't even read/watch the stories without tearing up.  Here's the recent article on the Garden of Innocence.

I have mixed emotions about my return to work.  Carson and I have talked quite a bit about whether I should return or not.  Ultimately, I feel like no matter what I decide, there will be a part of me that wishes I could have the other.  One on hand, I like that working will allow for me to maintain my identity (something I struggle with when spending 24/7 with Allie) and will give me a chance to get up in the mornings and have something to look nice for.  Something to get me out of the house and some adult interaction.  On the other hand, I'm devastated that I won't be able to be at home with Allie.  I'll miss our moments together and I hate that by the time I get home, it will basically be time to start her bedtime routine and put her down.  I don't know how things will be when I go back to work.  I imagine things will be difficult.  But we've already experienced a little of what it would be like these past couple of months and it's not exactly easy either.

I had so many things I thought I would do in regards to sleeping.  I've coslept a couple of times but I slept so terribly that I didn't think it was worth it.  I was so aware of the fact that she was there that I couldn't fall into a very deep sleep.  It's adorable being right next to her while she's sleeping but not something I could do every night.  To ensure that Carson could get sleep, I slept on the couch and in the guest room with Allie in the bassinet or rocker for 6 weeks and then we moved her into her room and crib.  I thought I might have issues with letting Allie 'cry it out' but I have zero.  She's a good sleeper and if it takes 2 minutes of crying for her to get there, so be it.  She's been sleeping in her crib almost exclusively since she was about 7 weeks old.

I learn something new every day.  I never thought much about what it would be like to be a mother but it is far better than anything I ever dreamed of.

Citrus Lane September Box Review

Citrus Lane is a monthly subscription service that sends products for babies based on their age.  It is normally $25/month (plus tax).  I found a coupon code for 50% off a Citrus Lane box and decided to try it.  We received our first box in September.  Just like Birchbox, you receive a notification when your box ships and you can track it.  Citrus Lane ships from somewhere on the West Coast, so I get it much quicker than I get my Birchbox.  They also ship later in the month--around the 20th or so.

I received the following items:

Skip Hop Hug & Hide Lamb Chime Ball ($16.99 Amazon)  Allie seems to like the chime ball and I'm glad it's a lamb.  Lambs are special to the Noble family.  

Charley Harper 123s Board Book ($9.95 Amazon)  I like that it came with a book, but I wish it came with a different book.  I think the illustrations are unclear and confusing.

Dr. Smith's Diaper Ointment ($3.74 Amazon)  The ointment went straight in my diaper bag.  I like that it's more of a paste than a gel.  

Babytime Playful Wash ($2.40 Amazon)  The soap is a vegan, gluten free, natural product.  It's a bit runny but it does suds up well.  We'll use it, but we wouldn't buy it regularly.  

Julep Nail Polish in Coco ($14 Amazon)  The nail polish was a nice touch but I don't think it should be in this type of box.  Maybe I just didn't like it since I already subscribe to Birchbox,  but I bought a KID box for products to use for my child.  I do really like the nail polish though.  It's a really pretty maroon color and it is the full size of the product.

Total Box Value: $47.08

I'm still not sure how I feel about the box.  The products I received are definitely worth well more than the monthly cost but I worry about stocking up on useless baby junk.  I'm trying to keep the accumulation of toys and stuff to a minimum.  I think I'll get at least another box or two before I decide whether I want to cancel.

9 Weeks

At 9 weeks old, Allison is:
-sleeping great!  She has started to eat every two hours during the day but she has slept 7-10 hours each night in her crib this past week.
-rolling on to her side
-starting to reach for things
-gnawing on her thumb

two months

Weight:  Allison weighed 12 lbs 2 oz at her 8 week check up (87th percentile).  She is 21 3/4 inches long.  I no longer feel confident laying her sideways in the crib because she only has to scoot a little to have her head or toes touching the slats.  She's now laying lengthwise in the crib.  

Health: So far so good!  We haven't had any health issues this month.  Carson is always in charge of the nasal aspirator because I just don't have the heart to do it.  He also takes care of her fingernails.  Allie got her first round of immunizations at her 8 week appointment.  It was heart wrenching seeing her in that much pain.  
Sleep:  At the peak of Allison's 6 weeks of fussiness, we decided we needed a change.  We started keeping tracking of when she was eating and when she needed to be sleeping and we've been a lot more successful with sleeping at night. At 7 weeks, she started sleeping about 5-7 hours each night.  She sleeps significantly longer in the Rock n' Play than in her crib but she naps/sleeps 90% of the time in her crib.  We're still working on getting a nighttime routine established .  

Diet:  Still going strong with breastfeeding!  We're trying to get her used to drinking out of a bottle now.  She tends to take MUCH less from the bottle and will still want to eat when I get home.  

Clothes:  We haven't tried to put her in any NB clothes in a few weeks.  We officially switched over to 3 Mo around 6 weeks.  She's wearing a mix of 0-3, 3, and 3-6 sized clothes.  Last week, we started putting her in size 2 diapers. 
Baby Gear Love:  It's not really 'gear' but I downloaded an app called Relax and Sleep and it has been incredibly helpful with Allie.  Since we live in the suburbs, there are lots of noises throughout the day like lawn mowers and dogs barking so if she's having trouble sleeping, I just turn on the white noise on this app and leave my phone in her room with her.  We also had an instance where we were parked on an Interstate in LA and Allie was stirring since the car wasn't moving anymore.  We turned on the app and set the phone by her and she slept through the whole 45 minutes that we were stuck.

Social:  This month Allison really started being interested in faces.  She's looked closely at Carson and me all month but in week 7, we had about 10 people over to our house for a draft party and she was so interested in all the guests.  She refused to nap and she totally loved being held by all the women.  As each person walked in, she stared and stared.  You could tell she was trying to figure out who these new people were.  It was adorable.  She also smiles all the time now  and has gotten close to laughing.
Crying:  Now that we're more in tune with her sleeping needs, she cries MUCH less.  Once we got past week 6, it's been so much easier.
Likes:  She still loves baths and she loves when we help her stand up.  She'll lean forward, raise her eyebrows, and look into your soul when she stands up.  It's adorable.
Dislikes:  Allie doesn't particularly like being in her carseat when she's not in a moving vehicle.  We still have a hard time using the stroller with the carseat--it's not enough movement to keep her satisfied.  I think soon we'll quit using the carseat once she gets a little more control over her neck and I'm hoping that she'll be okay since she'll be able to look at things.
Postpartum:  I still feel great.  I'd love to work out more but it's difficult to find the time or motivation.  Now that Allie goes to sleep so early, it's hard to go on walks in the evening.  I have been sneaking away to yoga class on Tuesday nights.  The carpal tunnel issues I was having with my left hand are gone now and I was able to get my rings back on.  I can get my Aggie ring on but it's very snug.
Milestones:  We got our first real smiles this month and went on our first vacation.  Allison now stares at the sun on her playmat and will watch us from across the room.  She also says 'oh' in the most adorable way

7 & 8 Weeks

At 7 weeks old, Allison is:
-growing a fresh crop of blonde hairs all over her head
-comfortably fitting into 3 month clothes
-working on more of a "schedule" now and life is MUCH easier
-sleeping 5, 6, or 7 hour stretches at night
-pumping her legs and taking 3 deep breaths when she's excited about something

At 8 weeks old, Allison is:
-uncomfortably fitting into her size 1 diapers but we're trying to finish out what we have before moving her up to size 2
-giving us all kinds of crazy surprised eyes (started 9/1/13)
-almost laughing (first hints on 9/2/13)
-loving standing more than sitting
-officially immunized (received first round on 9/4/13)

6 Weeks

It blows my mind how much Allison changes.  At first, I didn't notice it much, which seems crazy since all she's been doing is changing every day.  But yesterday, on August 23rd, Allison started smiling at everything!

At 6 weeks old, Allison:
-has a wicked case of baby acne
-coos and smiles at us when she wakes up from her naps
-sleeps a lot better when we swaddle her (which we haven't done since she was a few days old.  we're either better swaddlers, or she fights her way out of it less now)
-still likes facing out, but looks up at me when we walk around
-is getting longer and darker eyelashes
-started smiling for realsies
-makes the cutest sounds like 'heh' and 'ooh'
-usually sleeps between 8-12 every morning. Other than that, nothing is constant with sleep

After 6 weeks, I:
-had my 6 week checkup and the doctor said my uterus is still big
-have bruises all over my body that my doctor says is from the extra hormones that are still sticking around

Currently...

At 5 weeks old, Allison:

-has finally started to overwhelm me (what's sleep?)
-hates the pacifier
-still has a couple of chins
-grabs onto my hair and won't let go
-follows her reflection in the mirror
-still has blue eyes and reddish hair
-looks more and more like Carson every day
-prefers to be held facing out
-lifts her head during tummy time when I ask her to (or is that just in my head?)

After 5 weeks, I:

-use Visene daily
-went back to the gym and it felt great
-was finally able to shove my engagement ring back on my finger (still waiting for the Aggie ring to fit again)
-am SICK of social media (what else is there to do while breastfeeding?)
-get so happy when she smiles, and get so sad when she frowns (she's mastered both)
-still think that breastfeeding is hard sometimes but wouldn't dream of doing it any differently
-can't imagine how parents survived without Google